Hello Ben, I have really enjoyed reading over your project! You are doing a great job with it overall, I cannot wait to see the finished product! To begin, I really liked the detail you included in your introduction page and I love that you have such a specific theme/ layout for your portfolio. I love the idea of writing these as screenplays, that is something that I would have never thought of before and I really loved your explanation behind it. I cannot wait to come back and read those once you have some posted. I also really loved the links you attached to research about your topic, it allowed me to have a better understanding of the stories and what to expect. Thank you so much for the detail you put into this assignment, I really appreciate the work you have done so far! :)
Hi Ben!This blog design is unlike any other blogs I have seen thus far! Also it seems very developed and organized. I like your introduction and how you explain the goal of your project up front. One thing I realized while reading through your introduction is that you have put a lot of time and effort into researching for this topic. You were very thorough in your initial explanation of the project. I think the screenplay idea as your theme would be sweet! As you said, it would be a whole new perspective without a narrator. As you said, it would be a new perspective to see the emotions of the characters and we would also have a better insight into the motivations of the characters. I'm looking forward to learning more about these classical stories about the Buddha in this unique form of writing. I can't wait to read your stories in the upcoming weeks!
Hey, BenI liked your design a lot, as you really incorporated images that had to do with your blog. The Jataka images you provided really helped me imagine the scenario of your introduction and stories, and they did a really good job painting a picture of what could be expected from your site. I was able to imagine what you are going to come up with, and have a head start as to how you are going to imagine and come up with it! I also liked your syntax in your introduction, as you did a detailed job of describing the background of what you are going to write about. Once again, I was able to understand prior to reading any of your pieces what they are going to be like, and that is really helpful for any readers that come across your site! Great job.
Ben, I think it’s a great idea to talk about Buddha’s ideologies, especially those considered timeless. I can't wait to continue to read your storybook, because I think there are gonna be plenty of lessons I can learn from these stories to use in my everyday life! Like you said, there is so much we can learn, whether from the tales of the monkeys or Buddha himself. I think rewriting as a screenplay is a very creative idea, but also a challenging one. I wanna ask you to consider how you are planning on reflecting different emotions and motives? Such as, will the characters have stage directions or monologues so we know what their internal turmoil is? I think since we won't have a chance to enact these screenplays in a class setting, it may be harder to express emotion since most screenplays are written solely through dialogue. I can’t wait to see the creative ways you come up with how you want to write this!
Hey Ben,Your storybook is just wow! I really appreciated that you made the first story into a screenplay. Since I am a film major it is what fascinated me most about your story. I think that it is smart to break it up into a couple acts because that way people do not get bored reading one long story. Having multiple acts and characters allows me to a get better view of what is going in the story. When reading your storybook, I definitely could visualize what each character was doing, how they looked, and where they were so kudos. One thing that I was wondering about was in your intro you don’t really let us know the stories will focus on. You tell us that there will certain stories told but I was just curious if we could get to know what those stories are beforehand so we know what to expect. Overall, I really dug your storybook! Keep up the great work.
Hi Ben! I like how you explained what Jataka tales are. I believe addressing this at the very beginning, like you did in your Introduction, gives the reader the background knowledge to both understand and appreciate your Storybook better. Overall, your Introduction lays a much-needed foundation for the reader, so you have done a great job with that! Furthermore, I love how your story is a play! Your story is the first one that I have seen that is a play, so it is truly unique. It is obvious that you are very creative as that is shown in your writing. There was only one thing that I was confused about, though. I was not exactly sure what the images were describing. Therefore, is it possible to have an image description directly below the photos along with the image source there, just in case the reader wants to look further into the image? Overall, however, you have done a great job with your Storybook! Keep it up!
Hiya Ben!Saw your comment on my project and thought I could return the favor here. Feel free to DM me on GroupMe and we can catch up! After reading through your intro, I was very excited to see how these tales could be turned into a screenplay. When I first started reading it, it was a little hard to keep up with the difference between text and names if I started reading too quick. Maybe try doing something other than all caps to make the names of the speakers and any other non-text stand out more. The story itself is fun to imagine like a screenplay, and the descriptive words you use throughout really help paint the scene! I look forward to keeping up with the rest of your stories. Don't forget to keep those hands washed and stay inside whenever you can!-Reid
Hey Ben, I liked the spin that you put into your writing with this iteration of the story having acts like a play. I think you definitely made the right choice by changing the order of events of the story. You also managed to do so without changing the meaning and results of the source material. Great job, for sure that could not have been easy. You did also did a phenomenal job of making the world and characters from your writing more vivid. Your word choice was extremely descriptive and helped me get a better understanding for the story. Not a huge nitpick, but I think it would make this story easier to read. Taking your dialogue and putting it into quotations I think would make it easier to read. There were a few times where I got confused as to who was saying what or if an action was taking place without dialogue. I am unfamiliar with the format of play writing, so if your format is correct by those standards then please ignore me being stupid with this comment! Great job on this story.
Hello Ben,I have to agree with a lot of the comments that I have read on your wall the design of you blog is unique! That is really cool though because this class is about creativity and expanding our minds, so I really liked it. When it comes to the story of the monkey and crocodile is done in a way where it roughly does follow the original and of course the crocodile is always the animal who is never clever enough to win. It was a fun read! Being able to tell a story close to the original and it still being interesting is always a good job! I think your creativity with your whole blog is great, and if anyone tries to change your perspective on it, don’t allow it because to me everyone has their own way of doing things. Great job on your stories!